Wednesday, September 29, 2004

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY

An acquaintance called and left a message. He said something about how we haven’t chatted in years, hoped I was well, that he missed me, that he loves me, and that I should really email him. I was overwhelmed, touched by his sentiment…

But the more I thought about it, it really irked me. He was really an acquaintance I barely tolerated and I thought I made that clear by not answering his calls, not striking up conversation when we happened to be at the same place, walking away from him and giving him the evil eye. Now my evil eye is very unmistakable.

I guess it's hard for people to see me as un-nice because of my friendly and warm exterior. Go figure. But lesson learned. So, the next time I dislike someone I will make it abundantly clear. Watch out, I'm unleashing my inner bitch!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

GOOD FRIEND, BIG IDIOT!

Last Sunday, my dear friend (who I'll name) Hoffman and I decided to sneak into a post-Emmy party. Now, we had no plan, no vision, just an idea.

We strolled to the venue and gave his name to the TV Guide girl. (His white name more common and thus might be on the list). She looked at us: Nope, not on the list. They might have spelled his name right, that happens all the time, I say. She looked at the list, Lachlan, could it be Lachlan? Of course not, but I smelled opportunity. However, my dear friend Hoffman, looked at her and said, No.

Leaving the lights behind and out of earshot, I turned to my friend. Idiot! Fucking idiot!

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

THE BEST PARTY EVER!

Okay, not ever, but... On Monday night, I went to the premiere of National Lampoon's Gold Diggers. Red carpet, paparazzis, and lots of C-level stars. So much fun!

Will Friedle (ABC's Boy Meets World), Chris Owen (Sherminator from American Pie), Nikki Ziering (American Wedding), and Renee Taylor (The Nanny) from the cast were all there. Also present were Dick Van Patten, Richard Lewis, Cheech Marin and Dyan Cannon. And F-level celeb Tek from The Real World: Hawaii. I ate the whole time, munching on pasta, crab cakes and fried shrimp. Nibbled on more crab cakes and fried shrimp as they passed. My co-workers were a little amazed by how much food I was able to shove into my mouth. My friends wouldn't be though...

Then I spotted a tall, dark and handsome man who looked dashingly familiar. My co-worker was talking to him so I came over and (because I had a drink or two) asked, "Are you from Days of our Lives?" He was! It was Brody Hutzler, Days' Patrick! I have to start watching Days again.

Monday, September 13, 2004

DON'T HATE DEMENTIEVA

I've been really angry and mad the last couple of days. It's been stewing inside of me and I can feel this negative energy. And it's not really even their fault. So, I want to say I'm sorry to Elena Dementieva.

You see, on Friday, Jennifer Capriati was poised to (finally!) make her U.S. Open finals debut. She faced Elena Dementieva, whose serve is laughable and who Capriati has beaten in all their prior meetings, but in a tight third set tie-breaker, Dementieva beat Capriati - 6-0, 2-6, 7-6 (7-5). It was the fourth time Capriati was points away from the finals only to choke. She reported cried in the locker room, the latest defeat truly crushing. I willed Dementieva to lose in the final, which she did to Svetlana Kuznetova. As I drove home today, I realized that it wasn’t Dementieva’s fault. She has a really sad serve and can’t win a major, so I should feel sorry for her. So, you go Elena!

On another note, I believe in taking away lessons from everything. So, the lesson learned this week is to be mad at the right person. So, I’m officially over Jennifer Capriati. Sorry, Jen, but you’ve choked one too many times this year! (Umm, but good luck at your next tournament! You can do it!)

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

CONFESSIONS

Lately, I've been adversed to taking showers. I don’t like wallowing in filth, but it seems too much effort to clean myself if I’m not going to work or doing anything. Which is partly why I don’t go out now – unnecessary showering.

Recently, my co-workers have accused me of throwing-up after lunch. Don't know why they think that, but I’ve only thrown up like 3 times in my whole life, once when I was sick and twice when it was chemically-induced. I love food too much and would never rid of it that way... The other way, yes.

In the last few years, I've had some close friends move away (and back), and I have to say, I really like not having them here. Phone friends are more fun, less maintenance. And they fit way better into your schedule. So, will you please move away already...