Sunday, January 30, 2005

THE SYMBOL FOR HAIRCUT

Monterey Park, CA. - I'm at the barbershop. I just want a haircut - short on the sides and in the back, I tell her.

"Haircut?" she asks. (Don't quote me, she was speaking Chinese). "Yes, short on the sides and in the back," I repeat. "How do you want it?" she asks. (Again, it was in Chinese so my translation might be off...). I hesitate. I say to myself: Jump out of the chair and run, she'll never see you again. But she smiles. So, I raise my hand and form scissors with my fingers and run it through the sides and back of my head. "Oh, haircut," she acknowledges. This time, in English. I think again to dash, but we're so close... I buzz my fingers through the sides and back of my head the way I want her to cut it. "Short on the sides and back," she says. (I think she got it, but not sure 'cause it's in Chinese again).

It's done and I leave. I look in the mirror when I'm in my car. It is unequivocally the worst haircut I've gotten. Ever. Lesson learned. Follow your instincts.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

CELEBRITY WATCH: BACKSTREET BOY(S)

I'm at my boss's cocktail party. Twelve lesbians, two gay guys, her mother and me. I'm at the food table because a) the food's yummy and b) I'm always at the food table. As we're about to leave, guess who walks in?

Howie D. from the Backstreet Boys! My first instinct is sing I Want It That Way, my next instict is to call my friends and make him talk to them. But I shake his hand and leave. I am lame.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

IT WAS LIKE BEING AT OPRAH'S

A few weeks ago at work, over the intercom systerm we were all summoned downstairs. The 20-foot Christmas tree loomed and a load of wrapped presents crawled in. The principals of our company called our names and we each received our gift.

To the delight of many it was an Ipod Photo! When I walked upstairs to my office, I thought, Wow, this is what it feels like to be in the audience for Oprah's Favorite Things...

Example

Saturday, January 01, 2005

MY KINDA NEW YEAR

I'm not sure what I took last night.

I went to sleep and had this vision: I was running around the house, frantically folding clothes, cleaning under my bed, organizing my receipts, labeling my notebooks, categorizing my photo collection, throwing away things, shredding documents, discarding porn, finding everything I thought I had lost. I woke up and my room was clean, my computer room was neat. Hmmm...

Crystal?